Wisdom Akinpelu Ministries International

The Relationship & Intimacy Reflection Check

Eleven honest questions about awareness, boundaries and conversation · no charge · five to ten minutes

FREE — NO COST, NO OBLIGATION

Before you begin

This reflection is drawn from The Dynamics of Sex and its central observation: attraction is not a moral failing. It is a normal part of being human and it arrives without invitation. The difficulty has never been the gift. It has always been what we do with it.

These eleven questions are not about what you have done. They are about what you understand, what you have said out loud, and what you have put in place. They are written to be answered by anyone — married, engaged, single, or widowed.

Answer as you actually are today, not as you intend to be.

This is private. Nothing you enter here is sent anywhere, stored, or seen by anyone. It runs entirely in your own browser, and closing the page erases it. There is no score to be ashamed of and no one is watching. This reflection is not counselling, therapy, or medical advice — see the note at the end about where to find qualified help.

Your details (optional)

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Areas that may deserve closer attention

These are not judgements on your character or your marriage. They are simply the questions where your own answer suggests something is not yet settled.

    The credibility promise: this reflection exists to be useful to you, not to sell you anything. No book, course or consultation is required, and your answers are yours alone.

    Where to find qualified help

    A reflection tool cannot see your situation. If any part of this has raised something you cannot settle on your own, that is a reason to speak to someone qualified — not a reason to try harder in private.

    • Relationship counselling. In the United Kingdom, Relate (relate.org.uk) offers counselling for couples and individuals. Your GP can also refer you.
    • Health concerns. Anything physical — pain, difficulty, or a change you are worried about — belongs with a doctor, not a book. Please do not delay it out of embarrassment.
    • If you are afraid of your partner, or are being controlled, threatened, coerced or hurt, that is abuse, and couples counselling on its own is not the right response to it and can make things less safe. In an emergency call 999. In Northern Ireland the Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline is 0808 802 1414, free and open 24 hours. Elsewhere in the UK the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247. Outside the UK, your local police or a recognised national helpline.
    • If you are struggling to cope, Samaritans can be reached free at any hour on 116 123.

    Asking for help early is not a failure of faith or of character. It is ordinary wisdom.

    Keep your result

    Copy the summary below if you want to keep it, print it, or take it to a conversation. It is not sent anywhere.

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    Scan to share this with someone who would find it useful — a friend, a couple you know, or someone you are walking alongside.

    QR code linking to the Relationship and Intimacy Reflection Check

    wamiministries.org/relationshipcheck

    Go deeper

    The Dynamics of Sex

    The full book behind this reflection: why the person who unsettles you is rarely the one you expected, what actually reaches you and how, what happens to your resistance when a routine is interrupted, and why honest conversation inside marriage does more to protect it than willpower ever will.

    • ✓ Two full case studies, taken apart honestly
    • ✓ The three questions that reveal how you handle attraction
    • ✓ Why men are reached mainly through the eyes, and women mainly through the ears
    • ✓ The four things that protect a marriage when the routine breaks
    • ✓ A plainly worded note on where to find qualified help

    Find the book in the shop

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